This Was From Me
The Spiritual Testament of St Seraphim of Vyritsa (1866-1949)
Written to one of the saint's spiritual children, a bishop who had been imprisoned,
this testament is in fact addressed to us all.
Have you ever thought that all that concerns you
concerns Me too? For that which concerns you
concerns the apple of My eye.
You are precious in My sight, of great worth,
and I have loved you, and so it is a special joy for Me to feed you.
When temptations rise up against you, when the enemy surges up like the sea,
I want you to know that
This was from Me.
That your infirmity needs My strength
and that your safety consists in you
giving Me the chance to defend you.
Are you in difficult circumstances,
among people, who do not understand you,
who do not consider what is pleasant for you,
who cast you aside, -
This was for Me.
I am your God, Who decides on your circumstances,
and it is not by chance that you are where you are:
it is the very place that I appointed for you.
Did you not ask that I teach you humility?
And behold I have placed you in that very place,
that school where this lesson can be learned.
Those who are around you and those who live with you merely do
My will. Do you have difficulties with money,
is it difficult for you to make ends meet, know that
This was from Me.
For I dispose of your means and I want
you to come running to Me and know that you depend
on Me. My reserves are inexhaustible. I want
you to be convinced of My faithfulness and My pledges.
May they not be able to say to you
in your need: Do not believe in your Lord God.
Have you lived through the night in sorrow?
Are you parted from those who are near and dear to your heart -
This was sent from me to you.
I am the man of sorrows, who has known illnesses,
I permitted this, that you might turn to Me
and find everlasting comfort in Me.
Have you been betrayed by your friend, by one
to whom you had opened your heart, -
This was from Me.
I permitted this disillusionment to touch you,
that you might see that your best friend is the Lord.
I want you to bring all things to Me and speak to Me.
Have you been slandered, leave this to Me
and in your soul cling closer to Me, your refuge,
To shelter from disputing tongues,
I shall reveal your truth like the light
and your destiny like the noonday.
Have your plans come to naught, is your heart weary
And grown tired -
This was from Me.
You made your plans, you had your intentions,
and you brought them to me for Me to bless them.
But I want you to leave Me to decide and guide the circumstances
of your life, for you are only a tool,
and not the leading role.
Unexpected failures in life have come to you
And despondency has taken hold of your heart, know -
This was from Me.
For I want your heart and your soul
always to be aflame in My sight
and to conquer all faint-heartedness through My name.
Have you not received news from people near
and dear to you,
in your faint-heartedness and weakness of faith
have you fallen into murmuring and despair, know -
This was from Me.
For through this weariness of your spirit I am testing
the strength of your faith in the unchangingness of your pledges
and the strength of boldness of your prayer for those near to you,
for was it not you who entrusted your cares for them
to my providential love?
Is it not you who now entrust them to the Protection of My Most Pure Mother?
Has serious illness befallen you,
whether passing or incurable,
and have you been bedridden -
This was from Me.
For I want you to know Me even more deeply
in your bodily infirmities and not to murmur because of this
trial sent down to you,
and not to strive to comprehend My plans
for the salvation of human souls in diverse ways,
but to bow your head without murmur and in submission
beneath My goodness for you.
Did you dream of doing some
Special task for Me
And instead of this did you take to your bed of illness and infirmity -
This was from Me.
For then you were taken up with your affairs,
And I could not draw your thoughts to Me,
but I want to teach you My deepest thoughts
and lessons, that you might be in My service.
I want to teach you to realize that you are nothing without Me.
Some of My finest servants are those
who are cut off from outward activity,
that they may be taught
to wield the weapon of unceasing prayer.
Have you unexpectedly been called to take up a difficult
And responsible position, relying on Me,
I entrust these difficulties to you,
and for this your Lord God will bless you in all your affairs,
in all your ways, in all things
may your Guide and Instructor be your Lord.
This day I have given into your hand, My child,
this vessel of holy oil,
use it freely.
Always remember that every difficulty that arises,
every word that offends you, every vanity and condemnation,
every obstacle in your work
that could vex and disappoint you,
every revelation of your infirmity and inability
will be anointed with this oil -
This was from Me.
Remember that every obstacle is a Divine instruction,
And therefore take to heart My word,
that I have proclaimed to you this day -
This was from Me.
Guard these words, know and remember - always wherever you may be, -
That every pain may be made dull, when you learn
in all things to see Me.
Everything has been sent by Me for the perfection of your soul -
All this was from Me.
(Translation by Fr Andrew, from St Seraphim of Vyritsa, compiled by Alexander Trofimov, Theophania 2004)